..isn't asking,'you ok? x' at the beginning of every conversation. It isn't pitying someone who doesn't have the kinds of friends you have and including them because of that. Thoughtful isn't giving someone you hardly know a condescending smile and a hug just because you're giving everyone else a hug. It isn't starting a conversation with someone who you know is having a terrible time with their life and asking them stupid questions on how they did in an exam or an essay or a teacher that they don't like so they'll start bitching - it isn't thoughtful to 'take their mind off it'. Being thoughtful is changing yourself to get something out of someone,a friendship,a smile or even another present on your birthday. It's researching their interests then acting as if you like them. Having long conversations and googling terms and jokes so you'll understand them. It's teasing playfully not underhand mocking. It's pretending you're someone else to make a friend,hiding bits of yourself that might offend. Being a thoughtful person shouldn't ever be lumped in with being kind or caring or loving. You shouldn't be proud to be thoughtful.