As I try and come to a conclusion about myself...
...But it is affection received, not affection given that causes this sense of security. those who face life with a feeling of security are much happier then without.
It is not only affection but also admiration that has this effect. People who trade is to secure public admiration, such as actors, preachers, speakers and politicians (sly) come to depend more and more upon applause.
The diffused good will of a multitude affection does more for them what is done for others by the more contracted affection of the few.
The Child whose parents are fond of him accepts their affection as a the law of nature (unless you're Chinese of course...)
He does not think very much about it although it is of great importance to his happiness. He thinks about this world, about the adventures that come his way, and the more marvelous adventures that will come his way when he is grown up. But behind all these external interests...there is that gut feeling that he will be protected from disaster like illness....(Swine flu...eg) from his parental affection.
The child from whom for any reason paraental affection is withdrawn will most likey be timid and slighly unadventurous...and werid.
Such a child may set to work at a surprisingly early age to pondering life and death, and human destiny. They will wonder whetever and why. Pondering the thoughs of liffe, slowly becoming an introvent, melancholy at first but slowingly seeking ultimately the unreal consolations of the systems of philosphy or theology.....
me...The world is a....Higgledy-peddledy (I've always wanted to used that word) place, containing things pleasant and things unpleasant, and the desire to make an intelligible system/ pattern....is the dread of it.
By dread....I mean an agoraphobia fear. A child like that will likely be a student, be in library. Within the 4 walls of the library the timid students feels safe. If the student then uses his "logic" to persuade himself that the universe is equally tidy, he can feel almost equally safe when he has to venture forth into the world.
If only he receivede more affection, would have feared the real world a lot less, and would not have to invent an ideal world to takes its place and beliefs.
In the long run, the child would be probably worse off if he were not loved at all. The habits of the mind formed in early years are likey to persist through life. Many people when they fall in love look for a little haven of refure from the world, where they can be sure of being admired when they are not admirable, and prasied when they are not praiseworthy.
To many people home is a refuge from the truth: it is their fears and their timidness that make them enjoy a companionship in which these feelings are put to rest....
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.....
08:59
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